


Felix Culpa

by soulgyrl



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 21:24:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5642494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulgyrl/pseuds/soulgyrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post IWTB, up until not long before the new series begins. A secret Scully has been keeping from Mulder initially has consequences for the couple. But all is not lost ...their story isn't over! <br/>The labeling of the chapter's is off. I guess I shouldn't have put two in one at the beginning.  Anyway, thanks for reading..and for the kudo's. Comments of any kind are always welcome! I do not have a beta reader (hard to find) so I know there are some issues...I just thank everyone for overlooking them!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Friday, May 22, 2015**

_He watched as she sashayed across the floor. Watched as she reached the side of the bed, and pirouetted before him, her short silk gown billowing out, allowing him a glimpse of creamy thigh and buttock. He felt himself respond. God how he wanted her…needed her and that satisfaction that only she could supply. She bent down to him, her auburn locks covering the right side of her face, and gently kissed his lips. He reached out and grasped her by the hips, pulling her on top of him. She squirmed herself around until she was in that familiar place that would send them both into the stratosphere . He reached up for her small, firm breasts and…._

He woke suddenly and, even before opening his eyes, instinctively moved his arm to the other side of the bed. Nothing. Nothing but cold sheets and a pillow with no case.

_…and all that was just another damn dream…._

Every day for years that had been his routine, reaching for her if only to ensure himself that she was really there…until a year and a half ago when she really wasn’t and his reach yielded nothing but air. No warm, soft flesh or tangled, silky hair. Just…nothing…and the panic had set in.

That had lasted for months, now it was down to maybe two or three times a week. And the instant knowledge of what that emptiness meant no longer made the bile rise into his throat and the self-hate fill his head like it used to either. Now, it all just felt so…hollow.

He pulled his arm back, clasped his hands together, folded them across his chest, and tried to will himself back to sleep. And when that didn’t work, he tried conjuring the will to get up. A long shaft of sunshine snuck in through a broken blind and landed on his right cheek. This bothered him and he let out a string of profanities before sliding himself out of bed, landing with a plunk on the beige carpet littered with sunflower husks and old Kleenex.

He sat there for several minutes nursing his hangover and contemplating an ugly bruise on his left calve. He had no idea how that got there. Finally, after struggling to stand, he made his way into the bathroom to relieve himself. While perfunctorily washing his hands, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the cracked and dirty mirror.

_Fox Mulder….you look… like …sshhittt…._

He picked up a gray t-shirt lying beside the over-flowing hamper and put it on. Forget pants, boxers were good enough for now.

In the kitchen, he sifted through a dozen or so bottles lying on the countertop. _Half a swig of Crown Royal? Shit, again._ He tossed the bottle back onto the counter. _Not worth the effort._

The fridge held a bottle of catsup, two shriveled apples, half a Vidalia onion, and a carton with seven eggs that expired three weeks ago. _A shitty omelet it is then._

He carried the needed items over to the stove and proceeded to fix his meager, tasteless breakfast. He ate straight from the pan. He was halfway through when something rubbed across his leg. His sore, bruised leg. He almost kicked the offender before realizing that it was Persephone, the Angora cat Scully had gotten him for Christmas four years ago. 

_You know….to keep you company when I’m on call._ Actually, she had noticed him starting to spiral downward even then, and thought maybe the cat would be good therapy…it wouldn’t  require as much maintenance as say, a dog. Of course it wasn’t the same as a _human_ , but a living, breathing body nonetheless. And, dammit, he spent too much time alone and she was worrying it was starting to play havoc with his psyche. And short of giving up her practice, she just couldn’t be there with him all the time. _Someone_ had to be bringing in some money.

Now, he looked down at the pile of hair sweeping across his legs and put his half-eaten breakfast on the floor.

“Yeah, you’re hungry… I know. I’m sorry Persephone, I really am. I promise I’ll make up a list today and call Brady over at the Park-and-Shop. Have him deliver us a box of food. What about Fancy Feast? You want some Fancy Feast this time?”

The cat meowed as if in reply.

“Fancy Feast it is. In the meantime, how’s that omelet…good?”

Persephone took a couple licks of catsup, then grabbed a hunk of egg and ran under the table with it.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

* * *

 

 

After he had put all the dirty dishes he could find in the dishwasher and thrown all the empty bottles and cans in the garbage, Mulder went out on the front steps with the cat and a cup of jasmine tea.

He knew he had to do something. He’d had long enough to grieve (but, _had_ he?). If he continued on like this he’d probably be dead before he was sixty. And although a part of him still wanted to argue that… _what did it matter if he was? What did he have to live for_ _anymore anyway? His family was all dead, the x-files, his life’s work was basically dead,_ (they’d only been called for one other case after the missing FBI/pedophile priest incident), _Scully was gone, and his son_ …. _his_ only _child_ …. _was…lost to him._ And yada, yada, yada…. But, for the last couple of weeks, _something_ had been creeping into that shit-soaked brain of his; that maniacal mind. He had a suspicion that that _something_ was… the cat.

Persephone, or “Sephie” as Scully had often called her, had first slept beside their bed and eventually worked her way up to a nice, cozy spot between the two of them. When they needed her to exit said spot, say for one of their frenzied lovemaking sessions, or just because they wanted to cuddle unobstructed, Sephie would often retaliate by either urinating on the bathmat or pooping beside the kitchen table.

When Scully left, Persephone claimed _that_ spot, but Mulder flailed and wailed so much at first that she took to lying at the end of the bed by his feet. Then that stopped, too.

“You never sleep with me anymore. Probably because I smell like _ass_ most of the time. Sorry, Seph. I promise that before the days over I’ll…I’ll take a shower. And wash a load ...or two of clothes. Well, after Brady delivers some soap. And the sheets, I’ll change the bed sheets. I guess it’s pretty damn bad when even a _cat_ can’t stand to sleep with me.”

He heard the phone ringing in the house, but he ignored it.

Yeah, he sure as _hell_ needed to do something. He only had around 30K left in his savings and he was too young for Social Security. _And probably not_ quite _crazy enough for SSI, either._ Sephie climbed onto his lap, gave his arm a couple of licks, and settled down for a nice purring session.

It was a beautiful day, he had to admit. Blue sky, probably low 80’s, a warm breeze, flowers blooming in the fields, the air holding a hint of roses from the trellis at the side of the porch. He should be traipsing through those fields with his wife and son. He should have made Scully his wife years ago. Would she still be here if he would have? Would they be together here with their son if he hadn’t disappeared just months after the baby’s birth? Even when they eventually did get back together it wasn’t like they could have just gone cruising up to Wisconsin and demand William back from the Van de Kamp’s, and another “miracle child” probably wasn’t in the cards. But…well there _was_ surrogacy….adoption.

_Yeah, well just shut the fuck up about all that. You both made mistakes, horrible, heartbreaking mistakes and… it…whatever we had…it’s gone now. All gone._

…and the gravity of it all fell down on him like the proverbial ton of bricks.

The sobs came low at first with fat teardrops that rolled down his cheeks landing on Persephone and sending her scurrying out of his lap. She relocated a short distance away and lowered onto her haunches, her eyes hard on her master. She knew he was sliding, once again, into some dark place and needed to keep watch.

The cries became more aggressive and deep and he pounded the sides of his head as he rocked back and forth. Those old demons surged in with a vengeance and threatened to undo any progress he had made on his long struggle back towards normalcy.

He rolled over onto his side, knees to his chest and let the anguish overtake him. The tears and screams came no more, but the sunshine…the warmth…the smells….all vanished into that black hole he fell into. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t feel, couldn’t….anything.

His mind went back….

Chapter 2

**Wednesday, September 18 th, 2013**

Dana Scully came through the front door and started taking off her shoes.

“Mulder…Mulder…where are you?”

No answer.

“What the hell! Hey there, Sephie, Where’s daddy?” She asked the cat prancing and meowing around her feet. “And I’m guessing he hasn’t fed you all day either. Mulder!”

She went into the kitchen, cat in tow, took his food out of the cupboard, and filled his bowl. “What the fuck did he _do_ all day that he couldn’t even take two minutes to feed you?”

Lately he had really been getting on her nerves. For the better part of the year he had been doing less and less and leaving everything….the cleaning, the cooking…any household decision…up to her. She knew he was depressed, had been for some time…and because he was so averse to taking any medications, she had gotten him Persephone.

He had no friends, didn’t keep in contact with anyone from their former life, and barely wanted to leave the house for any reason anymore.  He never ventured further than the local liquor store or their secret spot beside the Singing River.

At first, she was worried, but when he began thwarting any attempt she made to try and help him, she became angry. If he was disgusted with himself and didn’t even want to try and rectify the situation…yeah, that was bad enough, but that he wouldn’t even try for _her_ sake… _that_ just pissed her off.

She looked in the den…no Mulder. He wasn’t in the basement or bathroom either, so she went upstairs. Not in their room, not in the master bathroom, not in the spare room….wait…the door leading to the attic was ajar. She pushed the door open and started up the steps.

He was there, his back to her, sitting with his butt on his heels, surrounded by a couple of shoe boxes. There were some letters and pictures scattered around. He held a picture in his hand.

….and her world started dissolving away.

* * *

 

She had to back against the stair banister to keep from falling. And she said the only word that she could force out of her mouth.

“Mulder…”

He didn’t turn to her, but when he spoke, his voice was controlled and very cold. “Why? Why….how could you do this to me….Dana? How long have you known...has this been going on? Were you _ever_ going to tell me?”

He laughed. It sent shivers down Scully’s spine.

“You know,” he continued, “in my life, I have been shot, stabbed, humiliated, left for dead, _actually_ dead, used, beat up…abducted…. I mean even my own _parents_ lied to me.”

He continued. “When I came back from being dead, or in some transitioning state…or whatever the hell that was, I was…confused, but _so_ relieved to see you. I mean the first thing I remember upon waking up is seeing _you_. And you were the only person in this world I trusted…cared about. Then when it…dawned on me that you were…pregnant…well, at first it was like someone sucker punched me. It was…hard for me to accept that maybe…  Anyway, then the pieces started falling together and that sadness became so much…joy! Of course, there was all the turmoil surrounding his birth, even afterwards, but still. When we both held that baby in our arms, for the first time in a long time…a _very_ long time…I felt…complete. And then I went away. The right thing to do…the wrong thing to do…. I’m still not sure I’ll ever have the answer to that one. If I had stayed maybe things would have been different for the three of us. But we’ve hashed and rehashed all that to death, haven’t we?”

“I never really blamed you for giving him up, you know that. I know how …hard that was for you. But why, Scully would you do _this_ to me now? You’ve been keeping in contact with him all this time haven’t you….and _you never told me_! And it’s not even that you just didn’t tell me, you kept it _hidden_! Hidden and locked away from _me_ in this _damn_ attic! I came up here looking for something of my mother’s and instead found… deceit.”

He stood and turned to face her. His face looked calm, but the eyes were wild and maniacal. She noticed the empty vodka bottle that had been hidden while he was sitting. Her legs buckled beneath her and she slipped to the floor.

“He was my son, too, Scully! _MY SON TOO!_ Did you think I wouldn’t want to know? Wouldn’t want to see him… _didn’t care_! How long…how long? Is that what you were doing when you took your little ‘conference trips’ out west? Going to visit _our_ son and not telling me? Were you embarrassed to let him know? Were you _ashamed_ of me…ashamed to tell him that his father was a _loser_ , chased from his own life by his demons and other evil people? Old ‘Spooky’ Mulder’s not good enough for his _own son_?”

Scully found her voice, but could only whisper, “I’m sorry, Fox…sorry…it wasn’t _like_ … that. Let me explain… _please_ …”

He put the picture in his hand inside his shirt pocket. “I don’t think I can do this anymore… _any_ of this.”

And he walked past her and down the stairs.

* * *

 

She wanted to call out after him….go after him, but all the words in her head were stuck there as her throat felt like the Sahara, her legs like lead. She heard the front door open and slam shut, and soon the car engine revving loudly, and the peeling and spinning of tires. She had never been this frightened for him since they had come to live here. She didn’t think he’d go far…hoped he wouldn’t. In the state he was in, physically and mentally, he shouldn’t have been driving _anywhere_. She sent out a prayer for his safety…if he had an accident and was injured…or worse. Or, god forbid, injured someone else…. She couldn’t even digest it.

Scully crawled over to the boxes and letters and, without even looking, knew which picture he had taken. Soon after William’s birth, Mulder had arrived one evening with pizza and wings for dinner. He ended up spending the night. Around 3am, Scully had woke suddenly to find that Mulder was no longer in her bed. Surmising where he had probably went, she tip-toed to William’s room. Mulder was gently rocking the little boy, cheeks wet with tears, softly singing to the child…

_Sleep, baby,_ _sleep_ _…your father tends the sheep…your mother shakes the dreamland tree, and from it fall sweet dreams for thee. Sleep, baby, sleep_ ….

Scully had slipped quietly back to her room, grabbed her camera, and taken a silent picture of Mulder unawares, lovingly, kissing the top of his son’s head. She had made a copy of it and had given it to him in silver frame. Now, she realized that the last time she remembered seeing it was on a night stand in his old apartment…never here in this house.

Sure enough, when she looked through the pictures scattered around where Mulder had been sitting on the attic floor, the original copy was missing. She put everything else back into the boxes and went down to the second floor and lay on her bed.  She didn’t know what else to do, her whole being felt as though it was anaesthetized…all of it with the exception of the one small part that kept chastising her that what did she _expect_ he would do if he ever found out? And had she really thought he _never_ would?

Not once had it been her intention that things should turn out this way. She had found William by accident, really. The year he would have been three years old, she was having lunch in the hospital cafeteria, when the mother of one of her friends from college approached her.

“Dana…Dana Scully is that you?”

She turned to face a rotund lady in a purple pantsuit. “Mrs. Davis? On my god, how are you?”

“Oh, you know, okay except for the normal aches that come with aging. But tell me, is that a name tag I see? Are you employed as a doctor here?”

“I am. How’s Amy,” she asked of her old roommate.

“Oh doing well. Married that Gaviston boy you all were friends with and she’s given me two granddaughters. She works part time now as a social worker for Angel Wings, you know, the adoption agency.”

Scully coughed, almost choking on her bite of sandwich. That is the same agency she used for William.

“I see,” she replied. “Do you have a number for Amy? I’d like to give her a call sometime. Catch up on….things.”

And that’s how it all started. Scully knew, whether she wanted to admit it or not, that a plan began to form in her subconscious from that moment on. Three phone calls and two lunch dates later and Dana laid it all out on the table. She knew it was wrong of her to ask...immoral, and definitely illegal, but she just _had_ to know. Before she met Mrs. Davis that fateful day, she hadn’t really given it much serious thought. But when the opportunity practically presented itself… Not that she probably couldn’t have done it on her own. She had enough ties…a few less with the gunmen gone… but there were always channels. One thing all those years working on the x-files had taught her was how to circumvent the law when the need arose. Or the want. However, the one thing she definitely _didn’t_ want was to get her friend in trouble, fired…or worse, so she promised that if somehow it all hit the fan, she would take the fall and leave Amy out of it.

It wasn’t as if she hadn’t known anything about the Van de Kamp’s. She hadn’t been given their true name, but she knew they had passed all the adoption agency’s rigid standards with flying colors and were in a sound financial situation. And although Scully didn’t consider herself a snob, the “sound financial status” of William’s new parents helped put her at ease. After all, she didn’t want to send her son into something that could potentially land him living destitute.

Now, armed with her newly found knowledge, she learned William’s address, the name of his preschool…the names and addresses of his new grandparents. This last part was especially hard. She struggled almost daily with the idea that she had robbed her mother of her grandson. The one thing that had given her a _miniscule_ bit of hope of any of them seeing William again someday, was the knowledge that she had marked “Yes” to the clause on the adoption papers that stated that- “in the future, if William should wish to meet his biological parents, and/or family, would she/they be willing to do so”.  And, in addition, there was always that nagging sense of guilt hiding away that Mulder had never had a say in any of this. But, then…he hadn’t been there, had he?

After about six months into her “surveillance”, she had thought that she probably _should_ let Mulder in on it, but something inside always stopped her. She justified her actions by telling herself that Mulder was better off not knowing. And as he rarely ever mentioned William anyway, it was probably better to just let him go on “business as usual” and not open those wounds. At least that’s the yarn she told herself. But that “logic” in itself was just stupid; occasionally they _did_ talk about William. Not necessarily in the sense they should go search for him, but what he might be doing or thinking at that particular point in his life.  She knew the real reason she had kept all she had learned to herself was a much more self-centered one: if Mulder knew, he may well go talking to the wrong person about it, or worse yet, go barreling out to Wisconsin and ruin everything. And she hated herself for feeling that way. And look where it had landed her anyway…up shit creek with piss for a paddle. And maybe the loss forever of the love and trust of the only man who had ever really mattered; Daniel included.

It was all just too damn much, so she concentrated on emptying her mind of all thought and lay that way for she knew not how long until, finally, she drifted away and slept the sleep of the mentally exhausted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More scenes leading to the break-up...

Chapter 3

Thanks to a rather long driveway, followed by an equally long dirt road, Mulder had toned down his frustration by the time he hit the hardtop. Some smidgen of sense from his past training must have seeped through his alcohol-soaked and wounded brain, because he knew he needed to be cautious and steady while driving. After he reached the main road, he drove the three miles to the 7-Eleven, bought two twelve packs, and then headed back the way he had come. He knew he couldn’t go home right now, couldn’t face Scully for nothing, so a mile and a half from his own driveway he turned onto Cow Path Lane, and that lead to the Singing River.

He and Scully had discovered this idyllic spot soon after they took residence in their present home. Upon Scully’s suggestion, the couple had put a morning exercise routine in place that they could each do as best their individual schedules allowed, combining jogging, Tai Chi, weights, and various other cardio.

“We’re not getting any younger Mulder,” Scully reasoned, “and we don’t have the regular routine of chasing monsters through air ducts, vampires across fields, or traipsing cross country hunting down alien abductees to keep us in shape. The only exercise I get these days is running from an office visit to the operating room. And god knows you get next to none.”

And so on one of their rare morning jogs together, they had come across a long-since, unused path leading down to the Singing River and a set of small waterfalls. A large, old weeping willow sat proud beside its banks providing the perfect spot to sit and meditate, or just relax, as the water bubbled and frothed over the rocks. It became their own secluded hideaway perfect for picnics and plenty of impromptu lovemaking. Had been anyway.

Mulder pulled the car right up to the river bank and parked. He got out, found their spot under the willow, and settled there with one of the twelve packs and his misery. He popped a top and drank deeply. Some recessed part of him was saying that he should have given Scully the chance to explain and the other half was still trying to understand why she would do something so…hurtful. All those talks they had had about William over the years… and her playing ignorant of everything when all along…. _Fuck…_

They both had done some pretty stupid things to each other, and god knows his sins outweighed hers two to one, but this was by far the most hurtful thing she had ever done to him.

What _would_ he have done had he known? And just how far had she come with their son. _Had_ she spent time with William… and _was_ she _ashamed_ of _him_? Truth, he hadn’t exactly been an ideal role model for _any_ child these last few years, but still…..

How the hell did his life get to be such a shambles anyway? You think you’re doing okay with your good schooling and your FBI job….

But, inside you know the real damage was done long ago...long ago on that unfathomable day when your sister literally floated right out of your life. Sure, eventually there was closure, but after how many years of lies, and tricks, and dead ends, and dishonesty; to say nothing of the unmentionable hell you had to experience that lead to that disclosure.

He finished his beer and cracked open another, chugging it down inside two minutes. He really didn’t want to think right now. He guessed he’d go back home later and gather some stuff together, go check into a motel for a while until he could figure all this out. He finished a third beer, then a fourth and fifth and sat with his mind finally silenced; with only the sound of water rushing by for company.

* * *

 

 

When Scully woke, to silence and darkness, her first lucid thought was of Mulder. She looked at the bedside clock: 9:00… _damn have I really been sleeping for the three hours?_ Persephone, sensing she was awake, jumped up on the bed and gave a short “meow” before rubbing her face on Scully’s hand. She moved into a sitting position and picked up the cat. Slowly, she navigated her way through the room until she reached the door, went into the hallway, and turned on the light. She hollered Mulder’s name a few times and got the answer she expected: none.

Downstairs, she deposited the cat in her basket, made a cup of tea, grabbed a banana, and went into the living room. She had work to do… paperwork….never-ending paperwork, but she knew she’d never be able to concentrate well enough to accomplish anything successfully. She turned on the TV, mindlessly flipping through the channels before settling on a documentary on time travel.

 _Time travel. Would that I could go back to 2001 and start this whole thing over again. William, my son…my love_ , _I would have worked my damnedest to keep you with me…at least that’s what I’d like to believe._ _That your father and I have missed out on your life is an unspeakable wound that will never heal_. _And now it looks as though he and I have lost each other, too.  But, hopefully my boy, I will see you again one day…_

When midnight rolled around with still no sign of Mulder, Scully began to worry. Short of just leaving town altogether, she could only think of one place that would keep him away this long and that was their spot by the river. She figured she could find her way there in the dark so, flashlight in hand, she started the mile and a half trek. The night was cloudless with an almost full moon and she was very near the path leading to the river when she spotted a car…her car… run off the road into a ditch. She ran to it and found Mulder slumped over the steering wheel, a nasty gash on his forehead. She could smell the alcohol.

“Shit, Mulder? Mulder can you hear me? Damn it, why would you do this? Mulder…talk to me!”

Mulder moved a bit and started moaning. “S..Scullll. Scul..ly. My….head…” He reached his hand towards the wound.

“Don’t mess with it. Here…can you scoot over to the passenger’s seat? Shit…I’ll have to try and pull you over. I think I can back this car out of the ditch. You need to get to a hospital.”

He reacted immediately. “No…no…no...hospital.”

Scully got him over into the passenger seat, and backed the car out of the ditch easily enough. “Well if I’m not taking you to the hospital than you are going to have to let me take care of it.”

Within five minutes they were back at the house and Scully proceeded to clean and apply butterfly bandages to the gash in Mulder’s head.

“This should probably be getting stitches,” she admonished, “but I suppose this is better than nothing. You’re lucky you only ran into the ditch. You know damn well you shouldn’t have been driving. You smell like a brewery. Where were you, by the river? How long were you in the ditch?”

“I…I don’t know. I was at the river. Sorry. Scully…Sorrryyy.”

“Yeah, well save it. I’m getting you into bed. We’ll talk about this later when you’re more …coherent.”

She got him stripped down to his boxers and into bed then went back to the couch. She was relieved he was alright, but they needed to have a serious conversation in the morning. She’d apologize for keeping William’s whereabouts a secret, but he was going to have to promise to make some changes, too… if they were going to make it.

* * *

 

When morning came, Scully called the office and cancelled all her appointments for the day. She fed the cat, made coffee and two bagels and carried it all up to the bedroom. Mulder was still sleeping, so she put his coffee and bagel on the nightstand and turned to leave. He must have sensed her presence because he woke and attempted to sit up.

“Don’t. I mean, you can sit up, but you don’t have to get up. Here’s coffee and a bagel. I should look at your head. And we need to talk. We can’t go on like this. _You_ … can’t go on like this. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about William. It was…wrong of me. And my reasons for not doing so were completely…selfish. I never meant for you to find all…that, in the attic. I usually kept it locked away, but…I was…looking for something. There has been a…development. I’ll tell you…all of it, but you have to promise me something; that you’ll get help. Fox, you can’t keep going on this way. _We_ can’t go on this way. I mean, we don’t do anything together anymore. We don’t go out, we rarely even _eat_ at the same times...and, I mean, what the hell…when’s the last time we just sat and _talked_. I know I work a lot, but _one_ of us has to be. I don’t even know what you do here all day...obviously not much of anything. It’s not good…not healthy. If you refuse to take medication then please let me make you an appointment with Dr. Lahota…I’ve told you about her, she’s the best at what she does, she….”

“I’m not going to a shrink, Scully,” he interrupted. He sat up, but with great effort. His head and chest were throbbing. “I mean, so…what, I sit there and talk about what’s wrong with me? My feelings? There’s a whole _life’s_ worth of what’s _wrong_ with me. How’s a thirty-something year old who probably wouldn’t even _believe_ _half_ of what I would tell her, going to say that can help me? I think we both know my sanity’s been circling the drain for some time and now it’s finally making it’s slow decent down the pipe. I’m not sure there is any help for me, Scully.”

She took his hand. “Do you want me to tell you about William?”

“I do and I don’t. I think I know why you didn’t and you’re probably right. I mean look where my life’s been. I’ve spent how many years hiding out here, haven’t done a damn thing other than our two stints back with the x-files. I don’t even _know_ what I _can_ do. The x files were my life, Scully. I don’t know anything else. Now, I just exist here and pitter around with my books and little articles I cut out of the paper. If I sit back and look at it from a third person perspective, it’s fucking scary. I think I should just go away for a while.”

“Go away?” Scully snorted. “Go away _where_? Mulder you _are_ away. If anyone’s going away it should be me. Is that what you want?”

“I don’t _want_ it…”

“But you’re not willing to do anything to help yourself…or the situation. Not even for me?”

No answer.

“I see. Well then, I don’t think I can help you. Let me check your head and I’ll leave you alone. I’m going to give you forty-eight hours to think about how you want to proceed with this. Mulder, I’ll do whatever I can, but _you_ have to want it…and make some sort of effort. If you can’t come up with a sensible solution by then, I’ll leave. I’m going to get a few things together and go stay at Anna’s while you try and figure this out. I’ll be back on Saturday.”

She cleaned his wound, leaving the bandages in place and left a bottle of ibuprofen and a few amoxicillin tablets on the nightstand.

“Take these for pain and the antibiotic if you think you’re getting an infection. You’re probably going to be good and sore; that seatbelt really bruised your chest. I don’t know why the airbag didn’t deploy.”

She kissed the top of his head.

“You know, Mulder, I’ll always care. There’s no way those feelings will ever go away. And the love. Always. I guess sometimes people need more. I’ll see you Saturday. Please…try and take care of yourself…and Sephie.”

And with that, she packed a few things and was gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The painful decision is made...

Chapter 4

**Saturday, September 21 st 11am **

A hard, cold rain beat down on Scully as she left Anna’s apartment and ran a beeline to her car. She got in quickly and started the engine.

“Perfect,” she said into the rearview mirror as she shook the water out of her hair. “If this morning’s BS is any indication of how the _rest_ of the day is going to go, then…. Shit.”

* * *

 

She arrived at the home she and Mulder had shared for the last ten years, killed the engine, and sat staring at the house. “Ten years….. _ten years_!” she said to no one. _Can it_ _seriously be that long since we snuck away from that military base?_ She had been so damn scared. She had already felt as though her world had caved in earlier that evening when Doggett had told her, “Death by lethal injection.”

They had weathered _so much_ together…her and Mulder, and now it had come down to _this_? That one of them would be leaving, she had no doubt. And she was pretty sure that _someone_ would be her. She looked towards the trellis at the east end of the porch. She thought back to the spring morning, when they had planted it together during their third year here. It was a beautiful Saturday, and she had just come back from a late-morning jog….

_“What is that Mulder?” She had asked of the large object wrapped in burlap he was failing to conceal behind his back. He gave her a big toothy grin and held it out._

_“A gift.”_

_“A gift? What for?’ She asked a little suspiciously._

_“What,” Mulder began, slightly crestfallen. “I can’t just surprise my favorite girl with a gift for no reason? Oh light-of-my-life?_

_She burst out laughing. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean for it to come out sounding that way. Of course you can give me presents… any time your heart desires. Now, let me see.”_

_She removed the burlap and unveiled a two-foot tall bush._

_“Ah, roses,” he clarified. “Creamy-pink blooms, comes on all summer, fragrant, easy care. Its name is ‘Eden’. Thought that would be perfect for our little piece of heaven here. I’ve, ah, already put the trellis up on the east end of the porch…morning sun and all.”_

**_…_** _and right beside the Sweet Williams_ , _Scully thought.  “So you had this all thought out. I’m impressed, Mulder…thank you!”_

A lone tear found its way down her cheek and brought her back to the present. She noticed the rain had let up considerably and decided it was a good time to make a dash for the porch. The front door was slightly ajar, so she pushed it open and an indignant Persephone, yowling loudly, ran past her.

“Hello to you, too,” she called out after the cat. Lovely. _So far, I woke up wayyy later than I planned, I’ve gotten soaked, and the cat’s pissed off…not looking good here._

“Mulder?” She yelled.

“In here…the den.”

She walked in and found him sitting in his favorite chair, whisky in hand.

 _Really? Crown Royal at_ , she consulted her watch, _11:46 am? Yeah, well, why I am I surprised?_

“How are you, Scully?”

“I’m…fine. Looks like that may be more of a question for you, though.” She gestured to his tumbler.

He gave a terse laugh. “Just a little pick me up…or hold me over….or get me through, as the case may be.”

“Are you…ready to talk? Able to talk? Where are we going here, Mulder?”

Mulder sat his drink down and stood. “Scully, I love you. Loved you for years; loved you before I even _realized_ I loved you. But…something’s….changed. I’m not even sure I know what. I’m lost, Scully. I’m a….a… boat without a rudder.  When we got called back in…the case with Father Joe…I thought maybe…maybe things would finally be different. Even Kersh was on our side. But then there was just that once more and…well, that was kind of a disappointment. And then….nothing. I’ve done nothing of any value for the last four years. You go out and work your _ass_ off every day and I’m just….existing. Me and Persephone. Instead of being out working on cases… chasing down the bad, the weird, and the impossible, I’m cutting out tabloid articles and talking to a cat all day.” He turned and faced the window. “I feel… _useless_.”

Scully swallowed hard and shook her head. “Mulder, if I’ve ever said…or…or done anything to make you….”

Mulder turned around and waved a hand in the air, signaling “no”. “It’s not that…it’s not you. I guess the whole business with William just made me realize that…that I’ve been completely without structure for too long. Far too, long. I wanted to be angry about the whole William thing, but… I feel….misplaced more than anything. And I’m certainly not doing you any favors. I feel like I’m so off course…I’m not sure I can find my way back. I’m sorry.”

Scully was trying like hell to hold back the tears. She searched her mind and her heart and prayed a quick prayer that she would say the right thing.

“Mulder, when we first came here, we were both…exhausted. We’d had nine years of running, and fighting, and searching, and we’d seen so much death and heartache. We were both more than ready to get the hell out of Washington and have some semblance of a normal life. And we did…for a while. We’ve made some very happy memories here. But there are times when I’ve wondered if the biggest thing we had in common all along _was_ the x-files. And now, with that gone… I don’t know. We could get called back, but maybe we never will either. And, yeah….maybe if we still had William things would be different…but we don’t. I still hold that I should talk to you about…that. I don’t think I’m going to have any peace about it until I do.”

Mulder sat back down and dropped his head into his hands. “I don’t know. I don’t think I’m ready to hear any of that…yet. I know that probably sounds insane…as mad as I was the other day because you _hadn’t_ told me. Maybe I’m afraid that when I hear what you have to say I’ll feel like I need to go and fix it…somehow. And right now, I can’t even fix myself.”

Scully walked over to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. “What can I do? Will you let me help you? Fox…I don’t know what to do. I know I love you, but…I feel like we’ve lost….something…motivation…direction…passion?”

She took his hands and brought him to a standing position in front of her. “We’ll never totally lose track of each other… you know that. But, I think it’s best if I just leave you to figure this out for yourself. I’ll stay at Anna’s until I can find my own place. Her brother Clay has a truck, I’m sure they can help me get my things moved. I’ll keep in touch; let you know when…in case you don’t want to be here. It’ll probably be within the next few days.”

Mulder found himself starting to panic. He thought that was what he wanted; for one of them to go, but now that it was actually happening…that it was _Scully_ who was actually leaving and of her own accord…he was finding it nearly impossible not to just totally fall apart.  Somehow, he managed to keep it all in. He embraced her and held her tightly. They stood that way for several minutes, both of them feeling the others’ heart beating wildly. Then, he kissed her, softly…sadly…and walked out of the room. He would not see her again for well over a year.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunited?

Chapter 5

**Friday, May 22 nd, 2015- 4:17 pm**

An alarm was sounding in Mulder’s sleep-drugged mind, and something else was tickling his nose. He startled and sat bolt up-right, fell off the small settee he had been lying on, sending the cat sprawling. Sephie wailed in protest, landed on the porch floor, and sat back giving Mulder the stink eye.

“What the…that damn _phone_ today,” He exclaimed, as it gave a couple more rings and was silent. “And sorry, Persephone for the meltdown earlier…again. Scully was right...you are good for me. Probably the _only_ thing that has kept me from _totally_ losing my sanity this past year and a half. For some reason I feel better right now than I have in…I don’t remember when, really. Maybe that last good, hard rant was actually cleansing for me. What time is it anyway?”

He got up and went to the porch steps. “Hmm, judging by the sun, I’d say it’s at least four. Damn, Seph, why’d ya let me sleep half the day?” He gave a terse chuckle and picked up the cat. “Well, daylight’s wasting. Let’s go in and give that Brady a call and our wish list. Hopefully he can get the stuff here before dark and I can actually accomplish something today.”

Mulder went inside, placed the cat in her basket, and called the Park-and-Shop. With that accomplished, he took a long, much needed shower. Finding clean clothes proved to be another matter though, and he decided to just free-ball it until he got some laundry done, and put on the one pair of jeans left in his drawer. He found a clean, albeit wrinkled, muscle shirt in a gym bag stuffed in the back of the closet and deemed it good enough for now. … _anyway, who am I trying to impress…the cat?_

He stuffed the hamper as full as he could and took it to the laundry room. He sorted it and filled the washer with a load in wait for Brady and the laundry soap. By the time his order arrived, he had also started the dishwasher, bagged up all the trash, and vacuumed. The first thing he did when Brady delivered, was get the laundry going.

“Now, for dinner. Fancy Feast. Tuna or Chicken, Seph?” The cat just stared. “Is that a tuna look? Tuna it is. And spaghetti for me, I believe.”

After dinner, Mulder cleaned up, dealt with more laundry, and decided to do something he hadn’t done in months: go running.

“If you were a dog, I’d take you with me,” he reasoned with the cat, “but I don’t think felines make good running partners.”

He was gone for an hour and a half. And the phone rang twice more while he was gone.

* * *

 

**10 pm**

The late evening found Mulder settled on the couch, beer in hand, cat on his lap, watching “Independence Day”. “You know this is _not_ how it goes, Sephie. Those damn aliens are much more subtle than this shit. They sneak in, taking over by infiltrating agencies and governments…even people you think you can trust… _should_ be able to trust. And _then_ ….BAM! They bop you right between the eyes…stab you right through the heart, those creeps with their back-stabbing ways. Their lies and deceit. Their…”

The phone rang...again, causing Mulder to lose his train of thought. “Okay, the phone wins. Whoever the hell that is has been awfully persistent today.”

When he came back from his run, he had checked the answering machine and saw that altogether the phone had rang five times throughout the course of the day, but when the “please leave a message” garble started, whoever it was hung up. _Of course, it_ could _have been different people, but no one never really calls here anymore, not with…..her gone._

This time, he moved Persephone aside, and got up to answer it.

“Hello.”

“Um…hello. It’s…ah…it’s me.”

No answer.

“Mulder, it’s me. Scully.”

“Ah, yeah….yeah. No, I’m sorry, of course I know it’s you. I’m just…just surprised…I guess. How are you?’

“Well, I’m okay…I suppose. I’ve been calling you all day. You must have been busy. I…ah…I admit, I was a bit worried when you didn’t answer after the fourth try. But you’re okay…of course you’re okay. That’s good.”

Persephone trotted over to him and began to weave in and out between his legs, purring loudly. “Hmmm, so that was you, huh? Why didn’t you just leave a message? I would have called you back. And, ah….Sephie says ‘hi’.”

“Oh, god,” she replied with a soft cry in her voice. “Sephie…yes, give her a hug for me.” And she sighed audibly. “Mulder….Mulder I _need_ to talk with you. Soon. It’s…it really is important…for both of us.”

Mulder’s brow frowned in concern. “Is everything alright, Scully? What is it?”

“I really don’t want to talk about it over the phone, Mulder. It…it’s something that needs to be discussed face to face. Please.”

Mulder shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. “Ah, sure…sure. I mean, of course you can come here, Scully. You’re welcome here…have _always_ been welcome here… whenever you want. Are you thinking afternoon or evening?”

“I, ah…I have to work until four. How about if I come tomorrow around six? Would that work for you?”

“Sounds perfect. Tell you what, I’ll even make us dinner. I’ve learned to make a mean meatloaf since you’ve been gone.”

She chuckled on the other end of the line. “Oh, Mulder. That sounds…great. It’ll be….nice. I’ll have to figure out what wine goes with meatloaf.” And here she chuckled again. “So…I guess I will see you around six then.”

“Yes…yes. Around six. And….Dana….thanks for calling. Goodbye.”

He hung up the phone and picked up the cat. He could not stop some tears from falling as he gave her a hug.

“Guess what, Sephie? Mommy’s coming home.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scully and Mulder have a serious discussion....and it ends in the bedroom...

Chapter 6

**Saturday, May 23 rd, 5:02 pm**

Dana Scully sat down on the edge of the bed and put on her socks and sneakers. She went over to the vanity and proceeded to brush her hair and apply a little makeup; just some neutral tones, she wanted to look…nice, a bit more polished… and hopefully cover up some of the worry lines that had etched themselves onto her face. It would be the first time she had seen Mulder in eighteen months. _Eighteen months_. It seemed like forever. They had attempted conversation by phone and text a few times, but it had always ended in mindless chit-chat and had left both of them feeling emptier than before, so within five months of her leaving, they discontinued even that fruitless endeavor. She had tried so hard to keep him out of the forefront of her mind all that time, but found it an impossible task. There was just too much of him still surrounding her on a daily basis: the coffee mug shaped like an alien head that was her birthday gift their first year living together, the pearl earring and necklace set she received from him for Christmas in 2005, the emerald green satin teddy she bought _him_ for Christmas 2010…the one that drove him wild.  And, of course, all the memories of William. Now, with this latest development...

She wasn’t sure how they would work through this. Wasn’t sure they even could, but for Mulder’s sake…for her sake…for all of their sakes...she knew they had to try. For the last several days, she had futilely attempted to rehearse how she would broach the subject. She concluded that the only thing to do was just go at it…and pray. Either he would be receptive to her ideas…or he wouldn’t. At 5:30 she left for the home she and Mulder had shared for over ten years and she hadn’t seen for the last year and a half.

She arrived and sat in her car for a few minutes, gathering courage for the night ahead. _Well, best just grab this bull by the horns and go._ Mulder met her at the door, towel in hand, and gently kissed her cheek. Persephone joined in purring loudly as she rubbed up against Scully’s legs.

“Scully. It’s good….so good to see you. Looks like Sephie is pretty happy, too. Come on in. You might as well join me in the kitchen. I was just getting ready to mash the potatoes.”

Scully picked up the cat and followed Mulder. “Wow, you’ve really turned into a regular Suzy Homemaker! It smells great in here. And it’s…pretty clean.”

He smiled and bit the inside of his lip. “It ought to be. I spent most of yesterday and today scrubbing, mopping, vacuuming, deodorizing…fumigating. Trust me; you wouldn’t have thought that last week.”

“Oh, so what happened between last week and now that brought on such an about face?”

Mulder poured some milk into the potatoes and started mashing. “Honestly, Scully…I don’t know. I’m not going to lie; I haven’t been in a very good place for the last eighteen months. But you know that. Persephone is probably the only thing that kept me from totally losing my sanity. Hey, would you mind finishing this for me. I’d better get that meatloaf out of the oven.”

“Sure,” Scully remarked as she put the cat down and took over. “I’ve missed you. Even more than I thought I would. There were so many times I wanted to… come back. But…”

Mulder turned off the oven and came up behind her. He encircled her around the waist and laid his chin on her shoulder. “I missed you, too. Terribly.”

 He kissed her cheek and she turned to face him. “Mulder, I…”

He put a finger to her lips. “Sshhh… Don’t, Scully. I don’t want to get into the apology game. You certainly don’t owe _me_ one anyway. Kiss me.”

And she did.

_________________________________________

While they ate, Scully filled Mulder in on her work at the hospital, including her latest case which was not proving very successful. “We’ve tried everything. I’m afraid we may lose her. I…”

“I’m sorry, Scully. I know how hard that is on you.”

She met his eyes and gave a little smile. “Yeah. Anyway, what all have you been doing with yourself…besides just surviving.”

“Not much,” he sighed. “Reading, fishing…drinking. That’s about it. What did you want to talk to me about?”

Scully wiped her hand across her face and pushed back her chair. “Are we done here? Let’s go into the living room.”

They both got up from the table and Mulder quickly took her hand and kissed it. “You look nervous…and that’s making _me_ nervous.”

Scully squeezed his hand and smiled. “Should we clean this up first?”

“Leave it. Got all the time in the world to clean up later.”

They went, hand in hand, into the living room and sat together on the sofa. Scully began. “It’s…William.” She relayed to him the story of how she had learned of his whereabouts from her college friend, Amy, and how she had periodically checked in on him through the years via the internet.

“Facebook. Christina Van de Kamp has a Facebook page. I suppose it was a gross invasion of privacy.”

“Van de Kamp.” Mulder stated. “I don’t like it. It should be ‘Mulder’…or ‘Scully’. Anyway, if Mrs. Van de Kamp didn’t have her Facebook settings set to private than its fair game I’d say. Is that where you got all those pictures you had in the attic?”

“Yes. I made copies. Mulder, I didn’t initiate any…personal contact with William or his parents. The only thing I had ever done was…look. Christine got a hold of _me_. Six years ago her husband, Steve, was killed in a farming accident. And then last year…she found out she had breast cancer. For a while it looked like she was going to be okay, but….now. Mulder, she’s dying. And there’s no other family.”

Mulder felt the world slow down. “Scully….are you…are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“She wants to meet with us. I don’t think she’s told William anything yet. I imagine she wants to see what kind of people we are. After all, we did give him up...or I gave him up. Strange, isn’t it? Now _we_ have to pass muster to possibly get our _own son_ back! Honestly though, I’m glad that she’s going that route. She’s putting William’s safety in the forefront and that’s definitely a good thing. I…I did tell her that we had had a long-term relationship, but maintained separate homes. I made her think it was due to my job. I don’t want to be dishonest with her, but I really didn’t believe I needed to reveal anything about our personal lives with her at that point. She doesn’t think she has much time left. Maybe four months… six at the most. If we are going to do anything about this we need to make a decision quickly. “

Mulder blew out a long breath and rubbed his eyes. “So, I’m correct in assuming that you definitely want him back...if it comes to that? Are you thinking that he will live with you…or what are you planning here?”

Scully took both of his hands and kissed each one. “Mulder,” her voice was barely above a whisper. “I want to come home. If William is going to come back to us, we should be together…all of us…as a family. _That’s_ what _I_ want. But…well…I guess the ball’s in your court now.”

Mulder drew her to him and kissed her deep, hard, and long. Tears found their way down his cheeks and he finally had to pull away as the sobs came. Scully put her arms around him and found her own tears joining his. Eventually, Mulder’s cries turned to sniffles and he found his voice again.

“I’m having a hard time processing all of this. It’s…I mean, I’m ecstatic to think we may get William back. But this is going to be so hard on him. That’s the mother he remembers…and he’s already lost his father. I hope I can be a good father, Scully. There’s no doubt in my mind that you’ll be a great mother. And he’s a teenager. That in itself is difficult enough. And what about _us_? I mean we haven’t been together for over a year. Are you sure you _want_ to come back here? I want us to be a family, too, but I don’t want you to have to put on a false front in order to do so.”

She ran her fingers through his hair as she spoke. “Mulder, I’ve been thinking about this ever since Christine called me last March. I tried to talk myself out of it….innumerable times…but, I always came back to the conclusion that the three of us should be together. Of course, we don’t know for sure yet that she will even approve of us. Although, we’ve talked several times and she has never given me any indication that she has anyone else in mind.”

“Why don’t you give her a call tomorrow and set up a time when we can meet with her. I will pull out all the charm I can and be on my best behavior…scouts honor, Scully. I promise you I will not mess this up. If there’s even the slightest chance we can get our son back…”

“Oh god, Mulder, I…I know this will be …is going to be rough for a while, but to have our son with us again! _Our son_!”

Mulder stood and pulled her up with him. He took her face in his hands and kissed her cheeks. In turn, she claimed his mouth and drew him closely against her. He broke away from her mouth and kissed a trail down her neck ending in her cleavage. She ran her hands down his back and grabbed his buttocks, pulling him in even tighter.

“If you’re going to do that, then you know where this is going to go, don’t you?” He said huskily.

“I do,” she responded, grinning widely. She felt the bulge in the front of his jeans and felt herself instantly become wet.

They made their way to the bedroom and Mulder immediately stripped off his clothes, freeing his raging erection, dripping with pre-cum. He turned his attention to Scully and began to undress her, slowly and deliberately, marveling at the feel of her soft, smooth flesh whenever his fingers brushed up against it. He could see unbridled desire in her eyes and his member became even more swollen. He felt for sure it would burst before he had a chance to enter her. They lay down together and two sets of hungry hands ran across two bodies, two bodies that had ached for this for far too long. Mulder reached down between her legs and found that sweet spot… the one he knew so well. His fingers had not forgotten how to work their magic and he marveled at how her clit swelled between them. Within minutes, her essence covered his hand and he entered her… eliciting shrieks of pure pleasure from this woman he loved beyond measure. He knew she was quickly moving towards the precipice and withdrew. He kissed her hard and guided her hand to his engorged, thick manhood. She took hold and ran the tip of her thumb across his opening, drawing a large amount of pre-cum out of it. He moaned and whispered her name.

“Scully…Scully….I….I need you…so bad…I need you.”

She rolled herself on top of him and ran her hand up and down his length a few times before sitting up and impaling herself on his shaft. They both gasped and cried out each other’s names. He took ahold of her breasts, the nipples hardened and long. She placed her hands on his chest and started riding him slowly. She knew this was going to be quick….for both of them. Eighteen months of want and need would soon come to a breathtaking conclusion. Scully picked up speed and Mulder felt the release building up in him. Scully saw the love and desire on his face and it sent her over the edge. Her orgasm was hard, deep, and long. Mulder felt her vaginal walls clamp down on his penis and he let go. He ejaculated again and again…he couldn’t remember when he had had such a strong climax. It was almost too much. When at last they both were spent, Scully collapsed on him and the only sound was of the two of them trying to return their breathing back to normal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 7

**11:24 pm**

Mulder and Scully were curled up on the couch, his arm around her shoulder and her head on his. A content, purring cat lay sprawled across both laps. Scully was dressed in one of Mulders NY Knicks T-shirts, he in PJ bottoms. Their round of love-making earlier in the evening had left them both satisfied physically, but emotionally...the two were still a little unsure where they stood with each other…with this newly revived intimacy.

Mulder finally broke the silence, voicing the question that was forefront in their minds.

“So, where do we go from here Scully?

She sat up and looked at him. She smiled, but he could see the apprehension behind her eyes. “I’m…I’m not really sure. I really want to come back. But, I’m not going to lie, I’m…undecided about how we should go about this.”

Mulder combed his fingers through her hair, coming to rest on her chin….cupping that chin and running his thumb across her lips. _Those perfect lips…_

“Okay. So what _do_ you suggest?”

“Can you hold that thought a minute, Mulder, I really need to use the restroom. Be right back. Sorry, Sephie…mom needs to get up. The cat let out an offended howl and headed for the kitchen. A little food might help the sting.

Mulder smiled and nodded as Scully left to take care of business. He watched as she walked out of the room, and then dropped his head into his hands.

 _How_ are _we going to manage this? I want her back, sweet Jesus how I want her back. And at the same time I’m scared shitless. Scared that I will, somehow…mess this up again…._

He went to the kitchen and grabbed a six pack out of the fridge, assuming they may both need some fortification for the conversation to come.

Scully returned and reclaimed her place at Mulder’s side. He handed her a beer.

“Thanks. Okay...where was I? Ummm…. Mulder…,” she sighed, audibly and took a long swig of her beer, “It’s like this…I feel a real… _need_ to come back. Part of me _hated_ myself for running out on you. I…it almost seemed like a pattern with me, running out on those I love, like I can’t take it when the heat gets turned up. I started thinking about all of the times that I felt like I…did…that. I’m…I’m the one who broke it off with Jack, I left Daniel…I uh…” and here the tears started and her voice faltered. “I left William…our son. And I left you”

He took her hand and kissed it. “Well, you know what they say, hindsight’s twenty-twenty. We can’t change the past, Scully, but I am more than ready to concentrate on the future…our future; and, maybe, the future of another part of us. I don’t want to get my hopes up…afraid to get my hopes up, but we have to try. If nothing else, we have to try for our boy’s sake. What’s the alternative, Scully…our son…our William being raised by yet another set of strangers? I cannot accept that.”

Scully raised their clasped hands and brought them to her cheek _._ She closed her eyes and gentle kissed his hand. _God how I love this man!  I’d forgotten how he had the ability to allay my fears. Still. After all these years. And no matter how much time we are apart. It’s good to remember._ She let go of his hand and brought both of hers to his face, her thumbs stroking softly over the slight stubble of his cheeks. He bent down and kissed her lightly on the nose. She laughed.

“Yes, we owe it to William, and to ourselves. I’ll call Christine Monday and my apartment building manager to let him know I will be leaving. I still have three months before my lease is up, so I guess I will still have to keep paying on it. We’ll manage it. If it’s alright with you, I’ll try to be moved in within the next few weeks. I have two operations planned next week and a conference in Dallas on the thirty-first I have to attend. I can rearrange everything else if I have to. I don’t mean to be flippant, but I’m assuming you don’t have anything pressing coming up and that any date I can make work with Christine will be good for you?”

“No, Scully, you’re right…no real to-do lists or deadlines here. There’s some minor work that needs done in the bathroom, sink keeps plugging up and the bathtub drains a little slow, but I can handle that. If…if William does come, we may want to consider getting a bigger place anyway.”

Scully nodded. I thought of that. But, it may be better to just stay put for a while. I don’t want to go uprooting him too much right away. We’ll see.”

Scully finished her beer and reached for another. She looked at Mulder to find him looking at her…very intently, a dreamy, half-smile on his face.

“What?” She said, and gave a low, throaty giggle.

‘I don’t know,” he answered. “You…me… you sitting here _with_ me. How…domesticated this all seems. A little dinner, a little… _coitus,_ a little beer, a little…discussion…about reuniting with _our son_. It seems surreal and… _natural_ all at once. I mean, we haven’t even _spoken_ in months and yet, here we are. Like no time has passed at all.”

Scully reached over and rubbed his knee. “You know Mulder, it seems no matter how hard or how many times the universe conspires to separate us it loses. I mean, think about it, how many times we have been wedged apart...at times we thought permanently…only to come back to each other…full circle. Always drawn back to each other.”

“… _For you are a magnet, and I am steel_...” Mulder sang, slightly off key.

Scully laughed, that full, bubbling laugh he loved. “Yeah, something like that,” she replied. “So…I guess it’s settled. I’ll get ahold of Christine Van de Kamp and set up something that suits all of us. In the meantime…I guess I’ll do a lot of praying.” She sighed. “Maybe I should be going Mulder. It’s way past midnight. It’s a long ride on these country roads back to DC.”

As if sensing that her mistress was once again thinking of abandoning her, Persephone jumped onto Scully’s lap, settling there with a meow that spoke, “… _and just where do you think your going?”_

“Yeah, Scully, Seph’s right. Tomorrow’s Sunday. Spend the night…please. I’ll even give you the bed and I’ll take the futon in the den if you’d like. I’ll make us a picnic breakfast and we can take it down to our weeping willow by the Singing River. For the good times. We can find them again, Scully.” He pulled her over to him and engulfed her small frame in his arms.

She settled there. It was so easy to return to his embrace, to feel comforted and loved. There was so much history here…with him.

“Mulder, I’ll stay on one condition, we take the futon out to the porch…and set up the telescope. I think I’d like to do a little stargazing tonight.”

 And she lifted her head and kissed him deeply.

 

 

 


	7. By the riverside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast is served...

Chapter 8

**Sunday, May, 24 th 8:06 am**

“Oh, wait a minute, Mulder. I forgot Sephie’s milk.” Scully climbed out of the passenger’s seat of her Ford Fusion and went back into the house. Mulder smiled and watched as she jogged up the steps and disappeared inside. He turned to look at the cat in her special basket in the back seat. “Dad has a thought, Sephie…hold down the fort,” and he put on the emergency brake. Mulder hurried over to the trellis and picked a few, smaller early Eden roses. They were just coming into bloom and he knew Scully loved their pinkish-white hue and light, but heady scent. He had just closed his car door when she emerged from the house carrying the forgotten jug of milk. She opened her door and stopped.

“Mulder….what’s this?” She smiled and picked up the roses before reclaiming her seat.

He smiled back. “Oh, just a little morning boo-kay for my fa-vor-ite girl. You should wear them in your hair, Scully, San Francisco or no.”

She laughed…that throaty, bubbly laugh he loved so much. He joined her.

“No, seriously…you could be my flower power girl, my hippie chick. That’s right up in our time…or era…isn’t it? The summer of love and all.”

“Ah, actually, Mulder,” she said, sniffing the flowers, “we were a _little_ young for all that. I mean, we were _born_ in the sixties…just kids during Woodstock.” She held two blooms in her hair just above her ears. “What do you think? I should have some bobby pins.”

Mulder gave her a thumb up and started the car. “Yeah… but we were _alive_ then. That makes us a part of that culture, or at least as I said, the era. I remember telling my mom that I was going to run away and be a hippie when I was about eight years old. She was horrified, of course.” Mulder turned off of their lane onto the main road. “Did you ever think of doing anything crazy like that when you were young, Scully? Ever get the urge to run away and become a Dead Head, a Parrot Head, or an Aerosmith groupie? Join the circus…anything?”

“Actually, Mulder…no, I was too busy trying to keep my grades up so I could make it into medical school. I kept all my crazy urges under wraps for later…for when I met you… and the x-files. That’s enough crazy for one lifetime.”

“Wow. You sure know how to deflate a man.”

She gave him a look that said “sorry” and reached over and put a hand on his thigh. “No, no. I don’t necessarily mean that as a derogatory thing. A little crazy can be nice, healthy even. If I’d have thought you were _too_ crazy that first day I was assigned to you… and saw what you had lined up for us, I would have run back to Blevins, begging him to _reassign_ me. No, Mulder, you were a good kind of crazy and just what I needed in my fulfilling-but-dull life. Of course, sometimes things got out of control through the years. Some of it left crazy in the dust. We both know there’s a point where crazy crosses the line into the senseless and irrational…dangerous even.”

“Don’t forget deadly,” Mulder pointed out as he turned onto Cow Path Lane.

“Unfortunately…yes,” she agreed. “One thing’s for sure. It’s been….interesting. We can’t say our adult years have been dull, Mulder…anything but.”

They reached their destination by the river and Mulder killed the engine. “It’s _all_ a sense of balance, Scully. Yin and yang, light and dark, stark and gaudy, abject fear and infinite courage, despair and euphoria; how can you have a _truly_ fulfilling life without both sides of the coin? The trick is to keep it on an even keel no matter what side of that coin you find yourself on at any given moment… or circumstance. Too much despair…you’re likely to give up, surrender.  Non-stop euphoria, no such thing really, sooner or later you’re going to fall and when you do…not pretty. ‘I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.’ That’s Og Mandino, by the way. Again, it’s all in the art of balance. That’s something I had to work through and learn to put into practice these last eighteen months to keep from totally going over the edge. I went down, but I always got back up....although I still couldn’t say just exactly _how_ or _why_ this latest  seemingly significant breakthrough came about…but I’m sure my memories of you and William had something to do with it. A lot to do with it”

Scully smiled. “Well, Mulder, we are all in the gutter…but some of us are _looking_ at the stars.’ Oscar Wilde. And I think that’s enough philosophizing for now. Let’s eat!”

Scully spread out the large blue and white checked table cloth underneath the willow, while Mulder pulled the breakfast he had prepared out of the warming baskets: an egg, cheese, and spinach casserole with fresh biscuits, honey, and oranges. A big Thermos of coffee completed the repast. And for Persephone, a big bowl of milk and a can of Fancy Feast: wild salmon and garden greens.

“We are all eating like kings and queens this morning, ladies,” Mulder announced as he served up.

The couple ate their breakfast in a comfortable silence, basking in the beauty around them. A last bit of fog was rising off the river; a light breeze whispered through the willow, tossing Scully’s hair in a way that Mulder found endearing; the air was thick with the smell of lily of the valley growing in a large cluster nearby; and the air was ripe with the sound of finches, chickadees, mourning doves, and the water bubbling over the small falls. It was the perfect place to quell the anxiety that lay in the heart of them both. And _William_ was the word forefront in their thoughts.

They finished eating and Scully put the plates, mugs, and cutlery back into the basket and the garbage into a plastic bag, and then put it all in the trunk of the car. She returned to where Mulder was sitting under the tree, chewing on a piece of grass. She giggled as she sat down beside him. “Gee, Mulder. Didn’t get enough to eat?”

He put an arm around her and drew her to him. He nibbled a bit on her ear and whispered into it. “Actually, I was waiting for dessert.” He reached over with his other hand and fondled a clothed breast. She reached up her hand, placed it on his cheek, and gently traced the outline of his bottom lip with her thumb.

“You know, when I look in the mirror I can see how much I’ve aged,” she started, “I mean, I’m over fifty, Mulder…definitely not the perky, young thing that walked into your office twenty some years ago. And yet, when we make love, you make me _feel_ like that girl again. I don’t worry about if something’s…drooping…or sagging a little bit…or a lot, as the case may be. And I thank you for that.”

He bent down and kissed her mouth, lovingly…passionately. “No, Scully, when we make love now, it’s _not_ that twenty-something woman I see, but a beautiful, mature, achieved, confident woman. And that’s a sexy-as-hell combination, Dana. You truly are the most enchanting, entrancing woman I have ever laid eyes on. I mean that.”

She looked up at him with love…and a sly grin on her face. “Even more entrancing than Jade Blue Afterglow?”

He pulled her back and looked her in the eye, amused. “Jade Blue After…. Damn, haven’t heard that name in…forever. But yes, Scully…women like that, the only thing they instill is lust. Your enchantment…and entrancement… reach far beyond the feminine wiles of the J B Afterglows of the world. They might be good for a one-night-stand, but you…you are the princess fairytales are made of.”

“Wow, Mulder,” Scully remarked, a slightly surprised look on her face. That’s quite…profound…and romantic, coming from you. Did you read a lot of Nicholas Sparks or Nora Roberts while I was gone?”

He gently laid her down, straddled her, and started unbuttoning her blouse. “No, no mushy romance novels, Scully. I just had a lot of time to think and realized what a wonderful thing I had. Now that you’re back, I don’t want to ever mess it up again. Love, honor, and respect…that’s the name of the game. Well…not that it’s a game…but…oh, you know what I mean. I want that fairytale life for us, Scully. If we get William back, or we don’t, I still want you to be my princess.”

‘Yes,” Scully replied, looking up, “your princess. Now come down here and love me.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Monday, May 25 th 11 am**

Dana Scully stared at the phone on her office desk, willing herself the courage to pick up the receiver. Christine Van de Kamp’s number was lying there, written on a crumbled piece of blue paper that she had looked at a thousand times. She had run the gamut of emotions all morning from extreme anxiety to unbounded joy with the possibility of _finally_ getting to see her William again… _their_ William again…hers and Mulder’s. Was there really a chance he would be theirs again? Legally he hadn’t been for a long time.

And there it was…the legality of it. The buried secret she kept that had haunted her throughout these last fifteen years. On William’s birth certificate, on the space provided for NAME OF FATHER, she had written: UNKNOWN. She had never offered this information to Mulder…and he had never asked. If she would have written the truth, that Fox William Mulder was William’s birth father, he would have been required to sign off on the adoption papers, too…and she certainly didn’t want to risk bringing him out of hiding again. The one attempt they had made to do so had failed miserably, and killed the mysterious Patti’s husband. She was almost killed herself. And yet, she had felt like a traitor. It had been an impossible situation…a catch 22.

The guilt she felt for failing to publicly acknowledge Mulder as William’s father almost ate her alive. It seemed to her the greatest of betrayals; it betrayed Fox…William…herself. And telling her self that, at the time it seemed like the best…and safest alternative, did little to allay that guilt.

And…she knew, there had been an even darker betrayal lurking in her subconscious; one that stole her breath and nearly drove her mad. The one minute, bitter thought that Mulder may _not_ be the father.

Just how had William, a mere infant, been able to do those seemingly impossible things? An alien trait, no doubt, but how it got there was another matter…and _that_ _was_ the big question, wasn’t it? Was it due to the manipulation of her DNA during her seizure by the shadow government, or some unknown element stemming from Mulder’s own abduction…some tampering with the very fabric of his essence they hadn’t yet discovered, or was William perfectly, miraculously, but naturally conceived, and simply a human anomaly…another Gibson Praise? Did the injection Jeffrey Spender sneak into him _really_ cure him of ….whatever? Had Steve and Christine Van de Kamp ever lain awake at night silently wondering what was different about this boy…knowing something wasn’t _quite right_ , but never able to put a finger on or pinpoint just what it was? Or perhaps even voice their suspicions to each other?

Scully had relayed some of these fears to those closest to her including Agent’s Doggett and Reyes, the Gunmen, Skinner…her mother. But, at the time, she had not been able to accept her mother’s answer: that she should just take William’s birth “as a matter of faith”. And in the end, she could live with all the fear and uncertainty no longer. Sending William to someplace safe, someplace even she herself did not know, was the only answer she could invoke to give her some sort of peace. Or so she told herself.

Peace. It was something that had visited her so fleetingly then. From the moment she suspected she was pregnant, a knot of dread, a feeling of trepidation, a voice of alarm had planted itself in her psyche. She tried shaking it, ignoring it, rationalizing it away. And for a time, it would go…or at least step back. There were moments of happiness, joy, love. Sitting in stillness, softly rocking baby William, greedily feeding at her breast; the few times she and the baby spent with Mulder, both looking at their son…and each other…with unspeakable love; watching her mother cooing and softly singing lullabies to her tiny grandson; the Gunmen showing up unexpectedly with gifts, Frohike and Langly fighting over which one of them was the better “uncle”…. Yes, there was good, but there was also so much worry and uneasiness and heartbreak. When she looked back on it all she marveled that she had not completely fallen apart.

Is that why she had been hesitating this morning, unconsciously putting off calling Christine Van de Kamp? Was she afraid if William came to live with them the whole crazy business of hiding, and fearing, and maybe Mulder running for his life would start all over again? She couldn’t go through that again, she just couldn’t. It would destroy her…and probably Mulder.

But this time _was_ different she reminded herself. Both Mulder and she were older, wiser, more determined where William was concerned. Many of those who had wished the child dead were no more. They even had an abundance of allies at the bureau that they never had back during those first nine years. She knew she could do this, believed Mulder could do this. They had their best chance, probably their _only_ chance…at a _second_ chance to reunite as a family once again. And in that moment she knew that she would fight with her last breath to keep her child with her this time. She picked up the receiver and dialed.

* * *

 

“Hello,” someone on the other side of the line answered. It was an adult male voice, and it temporarily startled her. She wasn’t expecting that.

“Hello,” the voice said again, “is someone there?”

“Ah, yes,” Scully started, “yes, I’m sorry, my name is Dana Scully. I’m looking for Christine Van de Kamp.”

“Could you hold on a minute please…” the voice remarked. Scully could hear muffled talking in the background as though someone had placed their hand over the receiver.

And then…“Ms. Scully? I’m Jonathan Rivers, Christine’s pastor. She _would_ like to speak with you. Could you possibly hold on for a few minutes? She had a…a rough weekend…”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Scully interrupted, “should I call back later?”

“No, please. She really is quite anxious to speak with you.”

Scully gave a silent sigh of relief. “That’s fine, Mr. or…Pastor Rivers, I can wait.”

However, the revelation that Christine had had a rough patch gave Scully some cause for concern. She hoped that her disease was not hastening along faster than they had expected. Scully waited a couple of minutes and then Christine came on the line.

“Hello? Ms. Scully?”

“Yes, Mrs. Van de Kamp, this is Dana Scully.”

“Thank you…thank you for getting back to me.”

“I’m sorry it wasn’t sooner. We, Mulder, err, Fox and I spent some time in discussion. I’m, ah, I’m sorry to hear you are having a difficult time.”

“Thank you. Actually, I tried a different treatment last week. Not really anything that would result in a cure, just…well maybe could slow it down. I can’t determine if it has been successful or not though, to tell you the truth. It made me very ill, and I don’t believe I want to continue with it. Anyway, I take it you have discussed everything with Mr. Mulder…or what should I call him?”

 _Yes, what?_ “You could call him Fox, I suppose. I’ve called him Mulder for so many years…it’s just a habit now, I guess. I imagine you know the reason I called. We are hoping to set up a date to meet with you; at your convenience, of course. I can make almost anytime fit in my schedule, although I do have two surgeries next week on Tuesday and Wednesday and a conference I have to make on the thirty-first.”

“How would June 3rd work for you? That’s a Wednesday. If you could be here around say, eleven am, which would give us several hours to talk privately, before William gets home from school. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I would prefer we have the matter settled between us before I make any introductions. This is hard enough on him as it is. I just don’t want to throw anything more on him until I am sure….”

Scully brought a hand up to her eyes and rubbed them briskly. _There it is again….the idea that we have to be deemed good enough to raise our own son. Don’t let it get to you, Dana. There’s no other way._

“I understand.” Her voice was raspy, barely above a whisper. She cleared her throat and continued. “And yes, Christine, I think June 3rd will work out fine. And again, thank you for this opportunity. It…it really means a lot to me….and Mulder. Christine, I’m very sorry that things have…turned out this way for you. Very sorry.”

“Thank you, Dana. I’ll email you my address. And ah, one other thing…would you mind if Pastor Rivers is present for our conversation? He’s been a huge help…and comfort to me. I trust his judgment completely. You’ll like him.”

Actually, Scully wasn’t all that comfortable with a third party present, but she supposed that Christine, in her weakened state, needed a helping hand.

“I’m sure that’s fine,” She told Christine. So, I will be looking for your instructions. You do still have my email address I take it?”

Christine Van de Kamp replied that yes she did, and the two women bid each other wishes for a good week and agreed that they were looking forward to their upcoming visit and rang off.

Scully had an uneasy feeling that Mulder wouldn’t be too receptive to the idea of “Pastor Rivers” being in attendance during their discussion of William’s adoption.

Her theory proved right when she relayed to him the details of her conversation that morning.

“Damn it, Scully, what does he have to do with anything? This whole business is…awkward enough without thinking I have to live up to some clergyman’s standards. He’s _nothing_ to William. He shouldn’t be having any say in this at all.”

“Well, Mulder, he must be _something_ to Christine Van de Kamp or she wouldn’t want him there. I don’t think him being there or not was up for discussion. We really don’t have a choice here. She’s not well, Mulder. And there _are_ _two_ of us. I guess she just wants some sort of support system behind her. Although, I do admit I’m not that crazy about some total stranger possibly having much influence on her final decision. I guess we’ll just have to make such a good impression she can’t help but give us thumbs up”

The couple was sitting outside on the porch, side by side, hand in hand. It was a warm evening; dusk was just starting to fall. A lightly blowing breeze carried the smell of the roses on the trellis and that of a late-blooming lilac bush beside the clothes line. Scully closed her eyes and drank it all in. How she had missed this place! She hadn’t really realized just how much until she returned. She hoped to god that she would never have to leave it again...unless it was with Mulder…and William.

She was jolted back to the present when Mulder started talking. He felt her arm twitch.

“Whoa,” he cried, “are you okay?”

“Yes, yes I’m fine. Sorry I was just…thinking.”

“So was I, that this porch is missing something; a swing. We need a swing, Scully.”

She laughed. “Yes, a swing would be nice. Have you ever made love on a swing, Mulder?”

He avoided her eyes. “Do you really want me to answer that?”

“Probably not,” she guffawed, “although I guess you just did. Yes, we’ll get a swing Mulder, but you have to promise to make love with me on it sometime.”

“Yeah, I can live with that,” he replied, as he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it.

“Mulder, would you mind if we had an early night? I’m whipped.”

“Sounds good to me. You know, these next few days are going to be hell….waiting. You know I’m not a praying man, but I have a feeling I’ll be sending up a few pleas between now and then. I already have a million ideas…what I’ll say to William…what I’d like the three of us to do.”

“I understand, but we might have to take it slow, Mulder. We don’t know anything about him, really. His likes, his dislikes…his fears, what makes him happy. Will any of our little traits exhibit themselves in him? Will he be a product more of nurture than nature…”

Here her voice trailed away and she had a distant look in her eyes that didn’t go unnoticed by Mulder.

He sighed deeply. “You’re worried aren’t you? Worried that there will still be some…residue left of whatever made him alien…or whatever. Yeah. I worry about that, too. Mrs. Van de Kamp never mentioned that there was anything…unusual?”

“No. Of course that doesn’t mean anything. Mulder, what if…what if someone comes after him again…tries to kill him? How will we protect him?”

Mulder reached over and pulled Scully out of her chair, sat her on his lap, and held her close. He ran his hand through her hair, pinning it behind her ear which he then gently kissed.

“Well, we will just have to make sure that doesn’t happen, Dana. He’s old enough now to learn how to protect himself, we can work on that angle. Martial art classes maybe? We could teach him how to shoot. You learned at an early age, as did I. Of course, we will take all precautions and explain it is for protection only. We can’t realistically be by his side all the time. And so far he’s made it okay. I think that’s a good sign. We will just have to do the best we can…and that’s all we can do. I won’t leave you two again, Dana I won’t. Come hell or high water. I’ll die here first.”

She reached up and kissed his cheek. “Well I _hope_ to hell it won’t come to that. And you’re right, Mulder…we’ll just have to take this on faith…just like mom said.”

Mulder gave her a tight squeeze. “Speaking of your mom, how’s she doing? I’d really like to see her again.”

“I’m not sure, really. She looks…exhausted to me…worn out. I’ve tried to talk her in to going for a complete physical, but she refuses saying she’s just ‘getting old’ and that’s always the end of that conversation. I’ll call her soon and set up a time we can all meet for dinner. I haven’t told her anything yet…about William, about us. It will be a huge surprise for her to see you again. You know she’s always loved you.”

Mulder smiled. “Yeah, and the feeling is mutual. And now, Scully, I think our bed is calling. Why don’t you go in and get ready and I’ll look for Sephie. She’s probably out mouse hunting somewhere.”

“Sounds good,” she replied, as she climbed off of his lap. She went inside while Mulder searched for their wayward cat.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit from a friend.....

Chapter 10

**Wednesday, May 27 th, 4:13 pm**

Dana Scully sighed heavily as she scrubbed herself down while she showered in the woman’s locker room of Our Lady of Sorrows. The operation she assisted with yesterday, performed on a thirteen year old girl suffering from Crohn’s disease, went perfectly, and the young lady was expected to make a full recovery. But today’s challenge-an emergency involving a seven year old boy with a ruptured brain aneurysm-had proved to be exceptionally taxing. She had worked with a team of doctors and nurses placing delicate clips at the foot of the aneurysm where it ascends from the artery. Now, time would tell if their efforts were successful, and also as to how much neurological damage had already been caused by the rupture. If this method failed, they had one more option. Scully prayed that they wouldn’t need to resort to it; she wasn’t sure if the boy, who was extremely weak to begin with, would survive another operation. Although without it, he wouldn’t make it either.

The surgery she had originally been scheduled for today had been taken on by another group of doctor’s when she was reassigned to help with the aneurysm. Now, her head was pounding.  _A glass of wine and Mulder’s arms sound really good right now._ She got out of the shower, toweled off, and dressed. She was heartily glad this work day was finished.

* * *

 

**5:10 pm**

She arrived at Mulder’s, well, _their_ home really, to find delicious smells coming from something simmering on the stove, and Mulder himself at his desk busily pounding away on his lap tap. She leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek.

“What are you working on?”

He swiveled his chair around to face her and reached for her hands. “I’m making a list, two lists actually. One, questions I have for Christine Van de Kamp, and two…those I have for William.”

“What,” Scully chuckled, “you’re going to treat this like an interrogation? I hope not, Mulder.”

“No, no, nothing _that_ extreme. I just don’t want to go in there blind. I mean, I don’t want to go in there blurting out the wrong things. I thought if I make a list of sound, intelligent, and well thought-out questions, and study them, I wouldn’t be so likely to make an ass of myself and jeopardize our chances. Fate is giving me…us….another chance here, Scully and I don’t want to blow it. I couldn’t….deal with that.”

Scully pulled him out of the chair and placed her arms around his neck. “I’m glad that you are taking this seriously, but, Mulder don’t drive yourself crazy with it. I’m, well nervous, but then…I have had the advantage of already talking with Christine and you haven’t, so I guess I can understand. Besides, _we’re_ the ones who are being scrutinized.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t hurt to have some questions of our own, does it? Scully, you said that you kept in touch with William’s life through Christine’s Facebook page, do you think she _knew_? Could she have done the same to _you_? I mean, she found out who we were, so maybe she has already looked into _our_ lives more that we know.”

Scully raised her eyebrows, looked up at Mulder, and shrugged. “Does that bother you? I never gave her any reason to _know_ , or even suspect, that I was looking at her Facebook page. I mean, I never _liked_ anything or commented, if that’s what you’re referring to. If she checked mine out I don’t know it. Obviously she did _some_ checking somewhere, and I mean _besides_ the adoption agency. I can’t believe she would just call me without knowing _anything_ about…me… us. I really don’t believe that the adoption agency would have had much to say about me. And like I said before, I didn’t get too detailed with her about our personal lives. I expect we will get into more of that when we meet with her. Are you going to let me see your list?”

Mulder ran his hands up and down her back. It felt so good to have her in his arms…so very good. “Yeah, in fact I _want_ you to look at it. Maybe you should add some questions of your own.”

She smiled. “Of course…and now…to more urgently pressing matters. What are we having for dinner?”

* * *

 

Scully laid down her fork and wiped her mouth on a crisp linen napkin. “That was delicious, Mulder… and there’s enough left for lunch tomorrow. You say that’s your mother’s recipe….I say she would be proud.”

“Well, it wasn’t as good as hers, but the mango and pineapple chutney is what really sets the whole thing off, I think.”

“Agreed,” Scully said as she stood and started gathering their dirty plates. “Let’s get this cleaned up and take a walk down to the river before it gets dark.”

As if on cue, a hungry Persephone appeared out of nowhere, started meowing, and winding herself in-and-out between Scully’s legs. “Well, who wasn’t here before we sat down to eat, missy? If you want to accompany us on that walk, you’d better be done eating by the time we’re finished cleaning up. Look, dad’s filling your bowls.”

The cat made a beeline for her feeding area where Mulder was busy supplying her with fat-free milk and “grilled liver and chicken feast”.  “Damn,” he remarked. “I don’t know how you can eat that stuff, Seph. It smells like someone barfed it up.”

Scully wrinkled her nose. “How elegant! Now, get over here and help me load this dishwasher.”

* * *

 

The couple was almost back from their walk, when they noticed a car pulled up to the house. Dusk was rapidly falling making it difficult to see the vehicle in any detail. The cat, which had been trotting along beside them, took off at a full gallop, stopped at the vehicle, and sniffed the tires. Mulder and Scully quickened their pace, and as they neared the car, a familiar figure exited it.

“Skinner,” Mulder questioned.

The assistant director gave a small wave. “I’m sorry to drop in on you like this. I tried calling, but I see you were out.”

“Just taking a walk by the river, sir,” Scully explained. “Is something wrong?”

“I…I hope not. Would you mind if I came in?”

“Um, sure…,” Mulder replied, already bounding up the porch steps. “Come on in, Walter.”

Scully gave Skinner a smile and motioned for him to go first.

“Really, I hope I’m not disrupting your evening, but….well I felt it was important I tell you this right away...and personally.”

“Well,” Mulder started, “follow me into the den. Would you like something to drink, wine, coffee, tea…a beer?”

“A beer would be great.”

“I’ll go get some for all of us,” Scully offered.

“Please, sir, have a seat.” Mulder said pointing at a recliner as he took one opposite it. “Now, what’s so urgent that you drove all the way out here this evening? I’m almost afraid to ask.”

Scully returned with the beer and handed one to each of the men before settling herself on the sofa.

“Someone has been asking about you, Dana. I received a call this morning from a man who at first seemed reluctant to even identify himself. In fact, I hung up on him the first time. He called back about five minutes later and identified as a Pastor Jonathan Rivers. Does that ring any bells?”

Mulder and Scully looked at each other. “Ah, yes sir…yes it does. Just what did he want…specifically?”

“He claimed he was calling on behalf of a parishioner of his, although he wouldn’t give a name. He said it had something to do with an adoption. I gathered he was trying to establish whether or not you really were employed by the bureau. He also asked about your medical credentials.”

Mulder took a few swigs of his beer and got up and went over to sit beside Scully on the sofa.

“What did you tell him,” Scully asked.

“Not much. I confirmed only that, yes you _were_ employed by the bureau, was an agent in good standing, and that that was all I could tell him. I cited confidentiality as the reason I couldn’t be more forthcoming, which is true, but I certainly wasn’t going to give some unknown voice, pastor or no, any personal information anyway. And as far as your medical employment, I told him that I wasn’t privy to any of that, nor was it any of my business. I really don’t know _what_ he expected to get out of me, or even how he knew to question me. But I take it this isn’t all that surprising to you…either of you. I know it’s not really any of my business, but… what was all the talk about adoption?”

Scully gave Mulder a look that said, _go ahead_.

“Sir,” Mulder started, “what I’m about to tell you… I need you to keep it to yourself….for now anyway.”

Skinner nodded in the affirmative, and Mulder continued.

“Well, to put it plain and simple…we _may_ have a chance to get William back.”

The look on Skinner’s face said you could have knocked him over with a feather.

“William? My god…that’s …that’s unbelievable! I _never_ would have guessed that. How…and why?”

“His adoptive mother got ahold of me last year,” Scully began. “I had noted on the adoption papers that I was agreeable to contact from William in the future if he so desired.”

Skinner looked thoughtful. “So, William initiated this…search?”

Scully continued. “Um, no…no, William doesn’t know anything about this. His…mother contacted me to let me know that she was very ill, dying in fact. Her name is Christine Van de Kamp. Her husband, Steve, was killed some years back. There’s ah, no other family. That’s why she contacted me, to see if we would be interested in William.”

Scully looked at Mulder on the verge of tears. He rubbed her back and kissed her cheek.

Skinner sat back, blew out a long breath, and downed the rest of his beer. “And I take it then you _are_ …receptive to all of this? What about the threat to his life... _all_ your lives? You’re not concerned with exposing him again to…whoever, whatever was after him before?”

“Would you like another beer, sir,” Mulder inquired.

Skinner shook his head in the negative. “I’m good. Actually, I’d love one, but it’s a long drive back.”

Mulder nodded his assent. “Yes, we have considered that possibility. But, we also feel like we’re being given a second chance here. We accept the fact that there could still be some…danger, but William is a young man now, not an infant. We don’t pretend to believe for a minute that this will be an easy thing. Sir, I had only days with my son, as you well know. The fact that I…we have any chance for this opportunity is….” Mulder’s voice cracked and he couldn’t go on.

Scully reached for his hand and continued for him. “We don’t _know_ that this is a sure thing yet. The man who contacted you, Pastor Rivers, is helping Mrs. Van de Kamp with her… arrangements and that includes finding the best placement for William. We have a meeting with her in a few days. Sir, if you’re at all a praying man, we sure could use some prayers. It seems…it seems so strange to have to take part in an interview to see if you qualify to raise your own child. I’ve been through a lot of strange things in my lifetime, but this… I don’t even know how to categorize it.”

Skinner hung his head. He wished he could think of something comforting to say. “I can’t imagine what the two of you are going through. If I can help in anyway.” He looked up at the couple. “What if this Pastor Rivers calls back, is there anything you would want me to convey to him?”

“Just the truth sir,” Mulder stated.

Skinner stood. “Well, I guess that clears that up. While I can’t guarantee that anyone else at the bureau won’t talk, I _can_ tell those under my charge to keep mum if they’re questioned. And, Fox…Dana…you know you have my total support…whatever you choose to do. Please keep me up to date on this. I guess I, ah…had better be heading back. Thanks for the beer. Goodnight.”

“Anytime sir,” Mulder answered. “And Skinner…thanks for understanding; for being our friend.”

He nodded at the couple and left.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
